One Day at the Dentist
by eds-my-buddy
Summary: Yes, this is more interesting then it sounds. What happens when Axel, Demyx, Me, Jami, And Marluxia go to the dentist? Total chao, that's what! Includes randomness, Laughing gas, FullMetal Alchemist and Kingdom Hearts, Brylane magazine and Martha Stewart.


**A/N: So, me and my best friend Jami (Shadowfang2011) have this thing with going on insane adventures with random characters from Anime/Video games. More of these are written by her so go check them out. But I write them to, so check these out! I wrote this one with some of our inside jokes and actual real life happenings, so I hope you enjoy this little adventure to the dentist! **

**One Day at the Dentist**

No one knew why Marluxia was driving us to the dentist, but he was. He drive us in a slightly embarrassing hot pink sports car. Axel shifted uncomfortably on the fuzzy seat cover, "Why am I going to the dentist again?"

"Be cause of your insane obsession with candy canes, and you won't shut up about your tooth pain." I rolled my eyes. Jami stared to the front of the car then leaned over to me and Demyx who were crammed into the back seat, "What are _those_?"

She pointed to a pair of fluffy pink dice hanging on the rear view mirror. I shuttered and laughed a little. Demyx elbowed me and I looked over to see him swinging a candy cane behind Axel's seat, holding a smile most evil. I poked Jami and we watched as Demyx poked the red head in the neck. Axel jumped and turned around, wide eyed, "Is that-"

"You can't have one till you get your tooth checked!" Demyx taunted.

Axel shrank into his seat, "You guys are evil, all of you...why are you conspiring against me!" We laughed. We stopped when Marluxia snatched it out of Demyx's hand and proceeded to eat it.

"NO!!!" Axel cried and lunged for the minty goodness.

"MINE!!" Marluxia fought back.

"Guys, we're here!" Jami shouted over the commotion. Time seemed to stop when she said that.

Suddenly Axel bolted out of the car shouting, "I DON'T WANT TO GO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"

"STOP!! Get back here and deal with it or you won't ever eat another candy cane again!" I called after him. Poor Axel sulked into the dentist's office and sat in the waiting room chair mumbling, "It's not my fault if I get raped by the dentist..."

"You're not gonna be raped by your dentist, Axel." I said matter-o-factly as I let the secretary know he was present.

He glared at me out of the corner of his eye, "How would you know? You ever been raped by'em?"

"No! That's how I know, Baka (1)!"

"Nether have I, but why take chances!"

"Shut the _hell_ up, both of you!" Jami silenced us with more shouting, "By the way, either of you seen Marly? He didn't come in with us."

Demyx was mesmerized by the TV in the corner of the waiting room, "He went to pick flowers in the dentists garden. I didn't know the food channel was so interesting..." Jami hummed her reply and sat down with a Brylane Home Kitchen magazine. I leaned over her shoulder, leaving Axel to his grumpy self.

"I could use that..." I stated, pointing to a one touch jar opener, "Finally I can conquer those damn pickle jars!"

"Holy crap! Who would by a shoe rack that fits 31 pares of shoes? Who _has_ that many shoes?" Jami pondered as she tossed the magazine to the table.

"Axel?" A lady came from the white door leading to the dentist asking for Axel. As he stepped forward, the lady stepped back to reveal a clean white chair. He gulped and entered.

"I think he's over reacting." I whispered to Jami, who nodded in agreement. A few moments passed before I became unbearably bored with Martha Stewart and her, "How to make stuffed sausages". Demyx on the other hand was quite intrigued, he even began writing down the ingredients. A crash sounded and we turned around abruptly to see Marluxia fly through the door.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S A BEE!! GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!!" He danced around the waiting room slicing the air with his scythe and bumping into walls in an attempt to destroy the bee. Jami and I both grabbed each of the pink haired man's arms and held him still. He quivered when he saw the yellow and black creature land on the table full of books. I calmly picked up the Home and Garden magazine the bee was perched on and tossed it outside.

"There, problem solved. Now here, give me the keys to the car so I can go listen to the radio or something." I held my hand out.

"I'm coming. I don't think I can take another minute of...this." She waved her hand and we set out to the bright vehicle.

I reclined in the driver seat as Into the Night played through the speakers.

"_Please..._ take those down?" Jami pleaded and pointed to the haunting dice. I took them off and tossed them at my blonde friend as she squeaked in surprise.

"So how long is this little trip gonna take. I'm getting hungry." I played with a strand of my hair.

Jami lazed back into the soft seat beside me, "Dunno, but I think were getting odd looks from passer byers." I glanced out the window as an old lady lifted her nose to us.

"Whatever..." I still looked out the window. Suddenly, a man in a tuxedo and black hair pulled up beside us.

"Oh my _god_, TUXEDO MASK!!!" I performed my infamous fan girl squeal and Jami joined me. We bounced in the car, unaware that the windows were open. The man gave us an odd look and at that moment, I realized that he was not tuxedo mask...and that he had heard us. I slowly looked away, completely embarrassed and rolled up the window. We sat quietly in the car for a moment, then burst out laughing. The man had gone inside the dentist office with the possible thought that we were both loons.

"Gah! What is taking them so long!!" Jami grumbled impatiently.

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"Axel, you have to open your mouth wider if I'm going to see what's wrong." The dentist cooed to the red head who refused to open his mouth.

"Hm-m." He stated.

"You know, those who are good in the dentist office get candy." This sparked interest in him.

"Does that mean candy canes?"

"Yes."

"Ahhh!" Axel opened his mouth as wide as he could. As the dentist peered inside, the room next to them yelped.

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"OW!" Envy held his mouth when the nurse poked his jaw.

"What is this?" She pulled a red rock from his teeth, causing more pain to the palm tree.

Envy became nervous, "Oh, that? That's just a piece of the stone. They're quite tasty-"

"Where do you keep coming from!!" Axel, wearing a blue bib and a water pick hanging from the side of his mouth, had appeared in the door.

"Can't a guy stalk some fan girls and their video game characters? Shesh

"Axel, we haven't finished yet!" The dentist huffed behind him. Axel turned and Envy took the red jewel and tossed it at him. It missed.

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The car had become quiet. Only the sounds of Bon Jovi played through the speakers. Jami and I ran out of things to talk about. Yes, that is possible. We relaxed in the plush car, Jami texting, and me...being dead. Watching Marluxia prance around in the flowers got old, seeing who had the best fan girl scream was painful, and we ran out of sugary assortments. We decided to see if anything has changed inside the sterile building. Not much did. The alleged "Tuxedo Mask" watched us from behind his magazine and the old lady was busy talking to Demyx about the best way to fry clams. Axel stumbled out of the dentists office giggling madly.

"What happened to him?" Jami asked.

Axel replied first, "He made the boo boo go WEEEEEE!!!!" He flapped his arms about like he was flying.

"We administered laughing gas, he wouldn't hold still or listen." The dentist rolled his eyes.

"Hm. Lets go Axel." I couldn't tell what would happen next. I had a suspicion that Laughing Gas Axel Huge Mess.

"Hey! Hey! You promised me candy!" Axel slurred.

A striped candy was pulled from the dentists pocket. Axel squealed with joy.

"Demyx, lets leave. I'm _starving_." Jami held her stomach.

Demyx perked up, "I'll make something for ya. First, I'll need eggs, goat butter, pickled carrots, and the nose hair of a rhinoceros!" He announced proudly. We stared at him for a minute.

"Kay. No more food channel Demyx. Martha warped your mind." Jami crossed her arms. The whimpering Demyx, insane Axel, and nectar covered Marluxia joined us in the neon car.

"I wanna drive!" Axel made for the driver seat, candy cane hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"NO. You are not fit to drive...you might, crash or, do dough nuts or, get run over by a deer or...know what? Let him drive." I kicked my feet onto the dashboard as I called shotgun.

"NO!" Marluxia, Jami, and Demyx cried in unison. When Marluxia started the car, Axel rolled down the window and began barking at passing cars.

Jami tried to pull him back, "Hot head! You're NOT a dog! You know what- You know what...forget it." She let him hang his head out the window, people already thought it odd to see a pink car driving down the highway, a man with red spiky hair barking at cars wasn't that bad.

"Hey guy, um. Do you know him?" Marluxia pointed to the mirror who shown Envy driving a gray Sedan...with his knees and sucking on strawberry pocky.

"Damn. What is _he_ doing here?" I spat.

It was at this point we forgot that we were driving and flew off course, into the trees. Upon impact, I was tossed forward and my face almost hit the dashboard. Almost. I sat up and looked around to see everyone getting out of the car.

"What were you doing? Forget you were driving?" Jami sneered at Marluxia.

"No, just...not paying attention."

"Well now what?" I coughed as the engine emitted smoke.

Jami stared into the distance for a second, "Know what I just realized? We could have used a damn black hole to teleport back home!" It was then that I smacked my self on the forehead.

"But-" Marluxia argued, "But, my car!"

"Screw your car! Look who's in the distance!!" I pointed out by the setting sun and everyone followed suit. Alphonse and his brother were run in our general direction.

I heard Al say, "Brother, NO! MY PIE!!!"

"What about it? Hey, stop running!" Edward replied as he huffed behind his now flesh and blood sibling.

"IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!"

Axel perked up, "Pie?"

"MY CHICKEN POT PIE!!!" The young Elric cried, "STOP THAT CAR!!"

"WE'LL GET YOU A NEW ONE!! AL!!!" Ed shouted after him, "Haaa, forget it." He stopped when he reached us, "Once that pie starts running, there's no way he'll turn around." Ed was bent over panting, to the ground.

I looked after Al, then back at Ed, "How did the Pot Pie get stuck on a car?"

Ed looked up at me with narrowed eyes, "I have no idea..." Demyx was picking up Axel who was now rolling in the dirt and leaves laughing. He coaxed to the nitrous oxide educed pyromaniac, "No, stop rolling around! I've found an important herb in that dirt!"

"OH THE PANDIMONIUM!!" All was quiet after I shouted those words meaning, _I am utterly confused by all things going on around me at this very moment in my life._ It was so silent, we could hear the crunch of the leaves as Edward stood upright. Even the cars passing seemed to be silenced. Time was almost frozen: Marluxia crouched over his precious car hugging it, Axel was on his back with all four limbs outstretched to the sky, Jami looked like she was ready to strangle Demyx, Demyx looked ready to be strangled, Envy looked menacing and- _Envy? _I turned around to find Envy in his car with his window rolled down.

He leaned out his car window and waved to us, "Yo, betches." We all shared a glance and at the same time, lunged for his car. Well, all of us except Marluxia. Me and Jami tore the car door open and Ed pulled Envy out by his collar bone; Demyx threw Axel into the back seat and he crawled in after. I returned to the passenger seat and Jami hopped in the drivers seat.

"I'm _not_ leaving my poor car!!" Marluxia sobbed into his car roof.

"Suit yourself." Jami mumbled as she started up the car.

Ed still held Envy furiously, "You killed me you sick bastard!"

Envy waved his arms, "I-It was only self defense!"

"It's_ your_ fault I was stuck in freak'in _Germany_ till I got to America almost a hundred years later!"

"You're 100?"

"Technically, if you do a crap load of math and do research on the Holocaust and what-not. He's about a little over 100...Damn, you sure don't look it." I piped in.

"Aren't you coming, Ed?" Jami asked.

Ed's face gained a malicious grin, "Naw, I'll stay right here and 'catch up' with my old pal here."

Envy grew pail, "Shit."

Jami drove off. It was silent in the car before I realized Jami was driving, "Uh, Jami? You don't have your drivers license. Let alone _old_ enough to drive. Should you be driving?"

"I dunno..." More silence. Then Axel burst out laughing. Jami and I turned around to see what was so funny; we saw nothing funny about Axel discovering his flaming chakrams.

"PUT THOSE OUT!!" Demyx cried.

"But they're so _shiny_!" Axel proclaimed. He waved his flaming toys around before Demyx grabbed at it and Axel threw it out the window. He laughed at the blonde beside him before he realized he threw his own chakrams out the car window.

"NOOO!" He pressed his face to the now rolled up window.

"Don't worry," I sighed, "You can summon them again when we're at Jami's house.

"No he CAN'T!" Jami argued from the left of me.

Upon arriving to my best friends house a few hours later, we all rushed through the front door; all of us had something to do. Demyx scuttled into the kitchen and started preparing appetizers for his dinner party. Axel, now with his mind not so clouded with laughing gas, tried to recall all that happened when he was high. Jami and I, well, we needed to beat The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Not _wanted_, but _needed_. Axel wouldn't let us though.

"What happened in the car? What happened to Marluxia?" He stood in front of the large TV with his hands on his hips.

Me and Jami looked at each other then back at the confused pyromaniac, "BARK, BARK, BARK!!" Laughter followed this little scene of mockery.

Axel stomped out of the room scowling, "You guys are impossible." The laughter subsided and we shared a little Roy/Hughes handshake. This had been a nice, entertaining day.

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Baka (1): Stupid

**A/N: Ha HA! I've finished! -does little dance- Yes, the whole "Tuxedo mask" incident really did happen, just like it's written. XD I hope this was long enough. (4 pages!! Damn!) And so R&R, no flames, and what not. Thanks,**


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